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Captain Shakey

Captain Crazy Shakes

Incredibly Crazy Captain Shakey

Name: Captan Shakey (Also known as 'Shakes' and Gervais)

Age: 21

Form Guide: DLPPPLWP

Odds for top-scorer: Wildcard 25-1

Experience:  After evolving in the clubbing Mecca that is Bristol there was high hopes for this young fledging to transfer his skills onto the mean streets of Cheltenham. After fleeting performances in Cheltenham this young hopeful is presumed to be conserving his energy for the 'big one'. A bit of an Emile Heskey in that the potential is always cited yet the delivery is always missing. Has suffered a severe dry period since leaving University and there is talk of calling in a Live-Aid style festival to ask for help. Has previously graced the playing surface in majorca and so maybe this would add to his advantage.

Key Skills: Has the Wit, Charm and approach play of a utility player whilst also owning the sensual and provocative dancing skills that could see a few goals scored. Will rely heavily on the drink...

Domestic experience: Performances in Bristol and Cheltenham largely give this player an unique west country playing style. Outside of this region he is a bit foreign.

Looks Like: Mark from Westlife, Colin from Grange Hill and Lance Wilkinson

Favourite Interests: Football, CM and non-dance music. Hating things is always a great interest.

Favourite Sayings: "Incredible"


                            "They're all rats"

                            "I hate anything with over two beats a minute"

                            "Fucking Ill"

                            "Shes Foul"

                            "Shes stinking"

                            "Wouldnt touch her with a bargepole"

Most Notable Achievement in Life: Not pulling in Time this year, stunning!

Home Strip: White sleeve tops are the way forward...

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