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And the situation is...

Words of Wisdom (05/12/03)
Myself in a role more justified through past glories rather than the 'I'm a fucking fag' form of the last six weeks, I will nevertheless look to get the crosses in and get in amongst the goals.

Remember, if the team is losing all methods of dirty play must be utilized to ensure victory. Therefore if its 1.30am and all seems lost, I suggest:-

Fister be utilized in a 'man handling' role to which he has become accustomed, therefore groping the opposition into defensive lapses. Pete and I go in a desperate search for 'Micky 'Sumo' Quinn' players, perhaps by following the trail left by Rob. Shakes to be given permission to leave the pitch and go to Bar Icon in search of guys. Sam and Cotton to stamp their feet to draw in the pikes (a tactic which never fails providing enough banned substances are consumed). Alex to utilize talk of thongs and easing panties aside, with Keiller, Paul and Martin pushed up front in a 'no defense/lets fucking get um in!' final attack.

Please note: These tactics are not suitable for use in certain stadiums ie. Fez and its 'Sea of Guys'.
In such circumstances one can only hope and pray for the arrival of a miracle or teen birthday party.

Lets hope these drastic measures won't be necessary but one thing is definitely for sure. One word describes both what the night is gonna be and the birds I'll be looking for.....MASSIVE

Name: Jimbo (also known as William Fox, 'Jim' and 'Arm')

Age: 23


Odds for top-scorer: 13-1

Experience:  Cheltenham, Coventry and Australia. Has also frequented the shores of Magaluf.

Key Skills: The young fresh faced looks and the unairing confidence propelled by that fine claret. Where there's a Teen, He's to be seen!

Domestic experience: Cheltenham and Coventry have provided the experience upon graduation for this young hopeful. Has performed particulary well after overcoming a two-year injury.

Looks Like: Just William, Emre and Nigel from Eastenders

Favourite Interests: Football, Golf and High-Street Honeyz

Favourite Sayings: "You're alright mate"

                             "At the end of the day"


Most Notable Achievement in Life: Scoring 400 or so runs for the Cricket team at school (may of elaborated!)

Home Strip: Versatile

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