So after the first night and the discovery that Alex bags a hag, Sam bags a hag and individual points are scored here and there the squad is modest about how the next six days performances will go. The 100 point target, although high, certainly does not look out of reach, Oh No!!!

 

The initial pool side talk was how minging were the birds that were bagged. Big Shot obviously looked at his bird in his customary rose tinted glasses whilst everyone else looked at Alexs and saw that she was literally a fat mess. In any other circumstance Battered would have been berated but since he did it for the team there were widespread congratulations that were going all round the campus.

 

It had only took one day and the apartment Jimbo, Battered and Raymond were in was an absolute state, stunk and probably reduced the value of the Hotel Aqua Sol by some 12%. Although initially the room looked a shell and had no carpets, it was incredible to see the corrosive stench and the mis-organised pile of what was furnishings completely ruin the Chalet. That was commendable work. After a day, the were all guys squad were soon to settle into their hotel. The Jazz brought from the UK gave the guys good sexual exercise in their minds whilst the additional purchasing of Med-Jazz further complemented the mood of the vacation. Obviously special thanks goes to Raymond and Top Gin for purchasing the majority of the filth that was kindly enjoyed by all concerned. Little did we know that a new challenge was to come from this that plotted all the guys against each other to see how much secretive beats can be completed within the seven days of the holidaymore about that later.

 

From the Saturday Night in Bananas where everyone literally met their alcoholic capacity, the Sunday day was largely taken up by either poolside rumours or sleep/passing out due to the stupid levels of cheap drink consumed in the previous night. It was only the sheer intense heat that woke everyone up as the alcoholic sweat that was excreted literally made everyones bed looking like they were pissed inat least that was my excuse anyway! Joke, not yet ready for a colostomy bag!

 

So moving on a couple hours to the evening at the mood was intenseit was if we were all paedophiles who had just gained a new job as a scoutmaster in ultra-liberal land. The next night could not have come sooner, Ace! After the experience of the day before when Big Shots misguided planning arranged an early kick-off which unsurprisingly led to an early final whistle, the squad decided to start proceedings at a later time. So it was out at ten, and everyone had their second best shirts on as the night before took up their best shirts.

 

After a short tipple in Lennons bar it was on to I cant remember where as I was hammered at that point. See I need all you idiots to help me out there. Anyway, after probably going in a couple bars we ended up in either car wash, boomerangs or bananas. Unfortunately I cold never distinguish which one was which but I think it was car wash.

 

The scene looked good and within minutes the heat seekers were already out in fore for the women. Shakes almost dug himself a whole by proclaiming he could pull any bird out on the night and proceedings were looking good when a fit apparently, but according to every other guys [lows] standards she probably was) bird approached him). Jaws were aghast as it was like the cross field ball played to Gazza in extra time during the semis of Euro 96, all he needed to do was to connect, instead he knocked her back. Scenes of anger suddenly erupted as smaegol, top gun and all the other geeks couldnt believe what had happened. Shakes later atoned for his errors by getting in a fat mess for the guys apparently!

 

Other highlights of the night probably saw battered pull another fat mess, see top gun reel in the pulls and Big Shot showing his consistency. Well played crazy guys. Cant really remember what else happened apart from me probably dancing like a pro to Timberlake. "Szum, szum, szum...szumba szum aszum szum"